What We're Sold and What We Actually Want: How Trends Are Eroding Our Concept of Home with Annetta Grant

This week, I’m joined by Professor Annetta Grant, whose research examines why so many of us feel uneasy in our own homes — even after we’ve renovated them. We dive into her concept of dysplacement (yes, spelled with a “y”), and how the rise of HGTV, social media, and resale-minded design has shifted the home from a space of personal expression to a performance of market standards.

Annetta and I talk about why we second-guess our own style, the emotional pressure to “get it right,” and how even dipping our toes into “bold” choices can feel risky.  If you’ve ever wondered why your beautifully updated space still doesn’t feel quite like you, this conversation will give you language — and permission — to rethink everything.

Watch this entire episode on YouTube HERE

KEY TAKEAWAYS

The Shift: From Personal Expression to Market Standards

Annetta started by explaining the shift in how we see the home. After World War II, homes were meant to be deeply personal spaces. Think avocado green fridges, pink bathrooms, and bold, joyful expression. Fast forward to today, and the home has become something else entirely: a financial asset to be maximized.

She calls this “the professionalization of the home”, where everything from the layout to the appliances is expected to meet certain “standards” promoted by media and marketing. Spa-like bathrooms. Chef’s kitchens. Gray-on-gray everything. These aren’t just design choices anymore; they’ve become expectations. And it’s making us feel... unsettled.

What Is Dysplacement?

Annetta and her co-author coined the term dysplacement to describe the sense of unease homeowners feel when their homes no longer reflect who they are. It’s the opposite of in placement — that beautiful feeling when a space just feels right, like you belong there.

Instead, many of us are designing for what we think everyone else wants — the HGTV look, the Instagram-ready moment — and losing our own voice in the process. The result? A home that feels more like an airport lounge than a sanctuary.

Why We’re Afraid to Get It Wrong

One of the most revealing parts of our conversation was when Annetta talked about the fear of getting it wrong — how deeply people worry about their choices being judged, not just by real estate agents or future buyers, but by friends, family, and even contractors.

She told a story about a woman who installed a few custom tiles above her range — the only truly personal element in an otherwise market-standard kitchen, and still felt nervous about what others would think. That fear isn’t just about design. It’s about identity.

Are You Designing for Yourself — or for Everyone Else?

This is the question I keep coming back to: who are we really designing for? Annetta made the point that even when people personalize, it’s often in small, reversible ways — like painting a powder room a bold color — just in case they need to “neutralize” it for resale later.

We’re stuck between wanting to express ourselves and fearing that doing so will cost us, financially or socially. And design media isn’t helping. It’s reinforcing the idea that there is a right way to do things, and anything outside that is a mistake.

The Role of Designers (and the Danger of Defaulting to Trends)

Annetta sees a real opportunity for good designers to help bridge the gap between marketplace expectations and personal expression. But, as I said on the podcast (and I’ll say again here): not all designers are created equal.

Too many default to what’s trendy, safe, and salable — and the result is a flood of generic spaces that don’t reflect the people who live in them. I believe designers should help clients discover their style, not impose one.

So Where Do We Go From Here?

This conversation left me both unsettled and energized. I see the pressure so many of us feel to make smart investments, to impress guests, to “get it right.” But I also believe we can push back. We can ask better questions. We can value in placement more than resale.

And as Annetta pointed out, the trends are shifting again — toward maximalism, bold color, and eclecticism. But even that, she cautions, could become its own kind of standard. So the challenge remains: can we make our homes feel like ours, not just reflections of what’s in style?

Annetta’s work reminds me why the Slow Style approach matters. It’s not just about design. It’s about reclaiming your space from external expectations and making choices that feel aligned, intentional, and grounded in who you are.

If you’ve been feeling frustrated, indecisive, or dissatisfied with your home, you are not alone — and you’re not crazy. You’re just navigating a system that wasn’t designed to honor your individuality.

Let’s change that — slowly, thoughtfully, and one tile at a time.

Until Next Time!

-Zandra